top of page
Search

No more lackluster goals. You want a fun goal that feels like a hot, joy-inducing adventure!

The key to making this year different? So easy. Pick a better goal. One that gives you excitement and joy. No more stale dreams based on things other people have told you will make you a better person. You don't need to lose the weight or make six figures, if you don't want to. Dare to dream a little differently. Dare to pick a goal that actually excites you. If you’re ready to find out how, read on!

Sail boat on the ocean with a sunset, and the saying: "An Adventure is a goal with style, soul & audacity."

The New Year used to be my favorite time of year.


Dreaming big and making resolutions felt empowering. We all know the excitement of fresh, shiny new goals and the hope they can bring to us.


But year after year, no matter how diligently I tried to work at my New Year’s Resolutions somehow they never made it past July.


In fact, I realized somewhere along the way that I couldn’t make even one single resolution stick. And each year by December I’d be equal parts angry and sad at myself. Clearly, there was something wrong.


And like a lot of women, my answer to the question, “What went wrong?” was always the same: Me.

I was what went wrong. I didn’t know how to make things happen. I started wondering if maybe I just didn’t have what it takes to be successful. Clearly, I wasn’t made for big things. In essence:


I wasn’t enough.

If you’ve ever had that thought, you know how painful it is to want a life you feel incapable of actually creating. Just thinking about New Year’s and a brand new round of Resolutions started to feel like dread, not joy.


Even with the pep talk I’d give myself each year about how this would be the year where I’d finally nail it. No more screwing around!


But it never worked. Because I was never the problem. And you aren’t either.


It’s not you and it is most definitely *not* that you aren’t enough.


It’s the goal that is failing you, not your incredible, brilliant, resourceful self. What you need is a better goal, not more will power or discipline.

And that’s good news right? Because if it’s not you, if it’s your goals that have been failing, that means if you change your goal, if you do this year differently, you can change the outcome.


But you’re going to to need to dare to dream a little differently this year. And we’re going to start here, with this question:


Are you really sure your goals are yours? Or are they someone else’s?

I know, you *think* your goals are yours. I mean, who else’s could they be? You made them up, you envisioned them. They came from you, right?


Eh, maybe not.


Over the years of hearing people’s declarations for the new year, and seeing way too many vision boards, personally as a coach, can I tell you something?


Too many of them look alike.


Too many of us are pasting the same worn sentences, same tired desires, and the same copycat photos onto our vision boards and our very unique lives for them to really be ours.


There are too many one-size-fits-all dreams out there masquerading as our own.

These are the ones the culture is continually hyping us up on. The McMansion with the five car garage I see on so many vision boards. The tropical beach vacation that is de rigueur. The designer purse. The diamond ring. The million dollar “check” people paste to their fridge as a taliman, Etc.


One-Size-Fits-All dreams are easy and comfortable. Everyone “gets” why you would want to to have them. But they don’t require much from you.


They sound nice, but they are surface level goals, that stop you from digging deep into something more emotionally captivating.


That doesn’t mean you can’t have them. It just means they probably aren’t the thing you want to focus on for your goal.


Then there’s the “should” goals...


...I should pay off the mortgage.

...I should pay down the credit card debt.

..I should start a retirement fund.



“Should” goals feel sensible, reasonable, very grown up even.


But they don’t ever actually excite you. Again, they’re seductive because it doesn’t actually require much emotional investment from you.

But that’s also why they, like One-Size-Fits-All dreams, are destined to fail. They don’t have the emotional juice to really pull you through the entire journey to the finish line.


They don’t have that sweaty-palmed desire and lust and joy to get you through the maze of obstacles, challenges, limiting thoughts, and boredom to take you all the way to the promise land.


These kinds of goals that have all the excitement and joy of an arranged marriage. Probably because in a lot of respects they are.

You don’t want that.


You want a goal that feels like a hot affair with a sexy Italian lover you met traipsing around on the Riviera. The one that maybe it doesn’t make sense on paper, but somehow it makes sense in your heart. You want a goal that gives you life.



If you want a goal that finally wins, then you need to find one connected to your real desires.

The kind of goal that is too good not to go after. The kind of dream that gets you up in the morning *even when* you are dead tired and the coffee isn’t kicking in, no matter how many cups you down.


And to do that you’re going to have to do something slightly dangerous:


To find what you actually want, what really stirs your soul and will make your days in the coming year worthwhile, you have to be willing to go beyond what you’ve been told makes sense by others.


And that’s going to mean going off book, and into the weird, the silly, the unique, the impossible, the crazy. The stuff small or large that only you can dream up. That fits your life and nobody else’s — the ones that are impossibly you.


The goals that have your fingerprints, your DNA all over them.


Goals like getting back to teaching, loving your body to good health, traveling to India, starting an interior design business online, going to the Oregon Coast for two weeks every year, decorating your home and garden so that it looks like you at last…


They may not feel Instagram or vision board worthy, you may not get the public clapping or reassurance from family about them first, but they will feel like a breath of fresh air.


And they will connect to your real feelings and desires so well, it will be hard to give up on them long term. Even through the inevitable challenges and roadblocks you will need to tackle to succeed.

These are the goals will win for you, and leave you braver, wiser, more resilient, happier.


And, sure, they may even leave your thinner, richer, and tanner along the way if that’s what you really want.


................................


I hope that helps and If you’d like some brilliant questions to help get you started digging in deep to your desires then, we should work together!


I’m the life coach for women ready to make life a grand adventure! No more boring goals. No more yearly list of “shoulds” that drain your energy and passion.

Click here to get your absolutely Free Consult to get a feel for how this would work for you!


Nervous? Got questions? Contact me at: info@desireesommer.com or use messenger here on Facebook or Instagram!


Subscribe here to be one the first people to find out about my brand NEW FIVE DAY GOAL CHALLENGE!


Loaded with questions and fun challenges to help get you started on your journey this year and to kick-start that process of finding goal with real emotional punch! It’s going to be brilliant! And I am so exited!


With that, I’m off! I will see you all next week in the meantime here are some other articles you might enjoy:



If you’d like to write in a question for coaching feel free to message me on Facebook or email me at info@desireesommer.com.


As always, make sure to hit that like button, and sign up for blog so you never miss another post about being happy, and pursuing your dreams!


39 views

تعليقات


bottom of page