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Find your Way Home to Yourself ( Part 3: Monthly Way to Play )

Want to know a fun way to play with feeling better and more at home in your own skin? Want to explore new ways to feel like you belong no matter where in the world you are? I've got just the ticket for you! Read on to find out more.

An Elegant Woman holding flowers in a field during the Golden Hour of Sunset


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Hello Beautiful!

Are you ready to play this week?

Because making your world more beautiful, more "you," and safer for you to relax into is just what we're about get into in this week's fun & powerful Way to Play! We're going to take all the beautiful work we've done in the previous two weeks and turn it into magical action!

We're going to learn a practice that you can really get your hands into and I, for one, can't wait! But in case you missed the last couple of weeks, you can check them out here:

Otherwise... Let's get ready to Play!


The Monthly Way to Play


Making a Home for All of You by Re-imagining your stories


This Month’s Way to Play is two-part affair, but it is a powerful way to shift into more love for yourself and the gift that you (yes, you) offer to the world and those around you just by being you! 1, First pick something in you, a trait perhaps, that you are hard on yourself about. Let's start with something small for this first time through. You can always come back and work through tougher stuff later, after you get the hang of it. But for now pick something fairly light...

  • Maybe it’s running chronically 15 minutes late.

  • Or procrastinating when you know you're better off just getting it done.

  • Maybe you’ve got more anxiety than the average person.

  • Or perhaps you beat yourself up for your lack of confidence.

  • Maybe you’ve got a people pleasing habit that kicks in at the worst moment!

2. Now, pick someone you admire. It could be in real life, or from a book or even a movie. And I’d like to encourage you to pick someone very different from you, maybe even someone with a notably different background or personality than you. Maybe from a different part of history. Or someone who is the opposite gender that you are.

3. Now I want you re-imagine your “flaw” as if it was this person's character trait. For instance, what if Denzel Washington was always procrastinating and waiting until the very last second to prep for movies, and yet… He constantly turned in award-winning performances, and was a joy to work with otherwise. He was always kind to the people on set no matter how "big" or "small" they were, from the cleaning crew to the caterer to the director ... Would the fact that he struggles with time really be the catastrophe? The deal breaker worthy of beating himself up over that you've made it in your life? Probably, not. In fact, a lot of us might find him more human and relatable because of it. Doesn't mean Denzel couldn't work on being more timely if he wanted to... or not. Just means it maybe isn't worth the painful, derogatory and critical self-talk you've been giving yourself over something that is just... human. What if Dolly Parton often had anxiety before going on stage, boarding a plane, or taking an interview? And yet, she always managed to do the thing despite her anxiety. Would she be less of an icon? Less well loved world wide? Would you find it acceptable if she constantly criticized and beat herself up for this one trait? Doesn't mean she can't grab a meditation class or see a therapist, or learn new tools if she wanted to work on managing her anxiety... She can still do all of that, or none of it. Being at home with herself just means she gets to love herself and be gentle with who she is, at this moment, right now, ie a wonderful, incredibale human being who is bigger than just the sum of her parts. And no matter what you choose as your trait, you get that too. And last but not least, my favorite literary character Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, was well known for being a wee bit judgmental of the people and world around her. And I don’t think I'm alone in saying that I don't love her less for it, but maybe just a little more for being so very human. Now it’s your turn. Take your “flaw” and the person you admire. Maybe it’s a first lady, or a celebrity or someone from your own life.

Rewrite your story and your flaw as if it was this

person’s and apply the love and generosity

you have for them, to you.

I know, revolutionary concept for a lot of women, right? Applying the same love, tenderness and generosity we are so well-known for doling out to others to ourselves. Now let me ask you to entertain a novel idea: What if, what you need isn’t to be more perfect, and to be loved for being more perfect…

What if what you really need, is more love & acceptance of all the parts of you?

And permission to be human, & to be loved, not as superwoman or perfect,

but as the unique messy-beautiful human

you are?

The warmth and love you are looking for never comes from perfection. That’s not real love, and we always know it. Being loved for being perfect is never good enough. Because we know deep down none of us are. But being loved for being us? That’s real love. That’s magical love. And that’s where the warmth and belonging is. That's where you will always find the house of belonging, that home we all long for where we feel enough just as we are. Now for the second part:

I’d like you to be on the look out for something that you can put in your home, or in your space that represents this imperfect, human part of you.

I’d like you to make room in your home for this part of you. Something that will make this part of you feel like it’s accepted, like it belongs, even if it’s not perfect. Make your house a place of true belonging, for all of you.

Maybe if you're not the neatnick of your dreams, it’s a quote like “Life is messy, but love, love is Messier.” that you tape to your bathroom wall, or find stitched on a beautiful pillow. Maybe if you're a perfectionist it's a perfect "fake" diamond, cut with absolute symmetry to help you learn to love your standards and ideals, and even your tendency to be charmingly uptight. Maybe it’s a box of crayons hidden in your desk because you can be a little childish, and you know what? That’s ok. ;) Maybe it’s a secret journal where you can safely pour out a little bit of bitterness and criticism when life gets tough and you need to vent. We're all adults here, right? We know that life doesn't always come up roses and that's ok.

Whatever it is, I hope it brings a smile to your lips, and a little bit of happiness and love and warmth to your heart.

You may not be perfect but you infinitely lovable,

just the way you are.

And that's what I have for you this week!

xoxo Desirée Sommer


And again, you can find Part 1 & 2 from the series here:


Desirée Sommer is a former Interior Designer & Writer dedicated to helping those around her to Beautify, Style & make their lives Fun again! She happily resides in the rural beauty of Idaho with her pet pooch Bree, where she gets to take epic hikes, and plot her next big travel escapade. Her favorite things include traveling, film & anything French or Italian. Oh, and dancing! Always dancing!


Are you ready to be inspired to find your next new direction?




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