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Being at Home in the World ( Part 1: The Love Note )

Imagine a home that's more than a show piece... that does so much more than just impressing other people and show off your family, your success, or your money. Instead, Imagine a Home that makes you and everyone you love feel safe, held and seen. A true Home of Belonging in the world.

The best way to create that home? Is to go inward. Read on to find out more.

An Elegant Woman holding flowers in a field during the Golden Hour of Sunset


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Well Hello there friends! And Welcome to November...

“If you are a dreamer, come in, If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer... If you're a pretender come sit by my fire For we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!” ― Shel Silverstein It’s the month of Home & Holidays, of open doors and long lost relatives & inviting people in… Of welcoming them in to your world, your home.

It's the month of "coming in" from the cold to sit by the fire... And it's also that time of the year when we strive to put our best foot forward and to make that often lovely, but motley mix of people we call family, feel at home. We clean up the house, get out the crystal, make up the guest rooms, fluff up the living room pillows, and put on our party faces.

But more than that we strive to become the women & hostesses we think people want us to be: Cheerful, warm, smiling… All things sugar and spice and everything nice.

We make things as perfect as they can be or, at least, we try. We hide the messes, the little resentments, the anger or sadness. We gloss over the riffs between friends and try to deftly avoid the usual family fights. What a different notion this idea of the Perfect Home, the Perfect Family and the Perfect Us is from how most of imagine ( and long for ) home & family/friends to be be. We go home after a long day of work and being “on” and we want to feel liberated from that perfection. Finally, we’re "home." The place where we get to let loose and let our hair down. Where we can relax into being the very real — and beautiful — person we actually are, not the one we are often pretending to be. And if our sense of belonging in the world, of being at home in it, is predicated on our ability to be “perfect?” ...It isn’t really belonging at all. Just more perfectionism and secret shame when we are unable to carry on the facade for 24/7.

True belonging happens when we are welcomed in as ourselves...

... Imperfect & human.

During the holidays our perfectionism and this search for outer validation can really hit a high note.

We want that very human thing:

Acknowledgement of our best qualities, of how pretty our lives and homes and families are. We want to show off our successes, the great kids, the warm wonderful home, our impressive bankroll, our fabulous hostessing.

And there’s nothing wrong with any of that. But I think sometimes we forget what we are actually searching isn’t to impress other people. It’s not for simple outer validation. What we are longing for is simple human belonging: to feel at home in the world. To be loved as we actually are, imperfect, messy and human. To not just have our wins seen and heard, to not just have our amazing feats of courage and daring applauded…

But to also have our hurts and failures, — our hearts acknowledged. To be held once in awhile when we are messy.

To have someone in our lives acknowledge the pain of being human with real tenderness & compassion: “ Hey, you fell down. Are you ok? Ouch. That looked like it hurt?” To fail every once in awhile and not have it ignored or criticized, or judged or to feel we have to hide from the world. It’s a weird but true thing we seem to have forgotten in this world of Instagram photo filters and perfect photo lighting, that we need the hurts to be acknowledged just as much as we need the successes applauded. Picture perfect social media reels with a thousand likes are not enough, and neither is the envy of all your friends and family over your “perfect” life, or kids or thanksgiving dinner or whatever it is you do so well... It won’t reach that deeper itch: We need our vulnerability & ordinary humanness to be cherished just as much as we need the pretty parts of our lives to be seen and loved. We need a home in the world, and inside of us where we don’t have “earn” love with perfection or strength. It is just given. Freely. You deserve to be loved just as you are, even when no one is looking... ...Even when you are messy, beautiful,

fierce, sweet, brave, angry, terrified

& everything in between.

That is the house of true belonging & that’s the home ( for the holidays and for every ordinary day in-between) that can give you what you’ve actually been looking for all along: A home in the world. And that is just what we’re uncovering this November! See you next week buttercup! All my love, Desirée Sommer


Next Week… It's the Inspirational Post! Click here for Part 2 of Being At Home in the World


Desirée Sommer is a former Interior Designer & Writer dedicated to helping those around her to Beautify, Style & make their lives Fun again! She happily resides in the rural beauty of Idaho with her pet pooch Bree, where she gets to take epic hikes, and plot her next big travel escapade. Her favorite things include traveling, film & anything French or Italian. Oh, and dancing! Always dancing!


Are you ready to be inspired to find your next new direction?




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