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Eleven Ways to Mother Yourself this May

As adults we get used to being the one with all the answers in our homes, and we forget that we too, need nurturing. Whatever your relationship with your mom, whether it’s good, bad, sweet or sour, it’s never too late to give yourself the care and nurturing you need.

a mom in her 70s hugging her 40 year old daughter, both their eyes closed

And who better to reliably give it to you, than you? So if you're feeling cranky, joyless and tired? Take a note from this article and learn to up your self-care. Here are 11 ideas to get you started. Scroll down to get started or...

1. Put yourself to Bed.

Do you have a regular bedtime? If not, it’s time to institute one, and preferably one that gets you seven to eight hours of shut eye. Be the kind of mother to yourself that sets her child (you!) up for success the next day, and put yourself to bed on time.

Entice yourself into it with a bedtime ritual. That’s the way your own caretakers probably got you to comply with yours when you were little. They made a big deal about tucking you in and maybe reading you a story. What’s something wonderful that you could give yourself at night to make it seem more like a prize and like a bore?

2. Make time to find out how your day was.

Remember your mom picking you up from school and asking how your day was? Or maybe when you walked in the door she was there ready with a snack and some sage advice about whatever was going on for you?

You’re never too old to provide that same kind of safe space, along with all of the love and support to go with it. Find a journal and some quiet time to ask yourself how your day was, and really listen to the answer.

3. Clean your room.

Or your kitchen, or your car. Whatever that spot is that is zapping your energy every time you see it, go to it now and put five things away. Just five. If it’s the mess around the back door, find a home for that backpack, put the snow coat away now that it’s summer, sweep up the dirt the dog tracked in, straighten the shoes and throw away the grocery bags that got left there.

You will be amazed how energized and cared for you feel when you tidy up just five little things. And it will inspire you to do the same thing tomorrow. You’ll walk in and see an actual pathway to the back door, and you’ll smile. Worth it.

4. Take care of your feelings.

What did your mom do when you had a bad day? Or, what did you wish they had done for you? Did they give you a hug, and tell you everything would be alright? Did they make you a favorite meal to cheer you up? Or did they put on some music and help you dance it out?

What do you wish they had done? Whatever it is, make a plan for what to do when you have a bad day and implement it. Write it out on an index card and put it in your purse or wallet. Buy the hot chocolate, make the playlist. And the next time you have an off day you’ll be set to comfort and soothe the blues away.

5. Hugs & Kisses.

Make comforting, consenting touch a part of your day. As kids we often got hugged and held. Platonic physical affection was a given. As adults it’s way too easy to let platonic touch slide by the wayside. Even with the people we love the most, we can end up keeping our distance without meaning too. We’re so busy trying to get it all done, we forget to make time to hug.

Whether it’s your partner, your kids, your family, friend or pets, make hugs, arm touches, high fives, and holding hands a part of your life again. We need touch to feel safe and to release a whole slew of hormones that make use feel cozy and loved. Those feelings can do wonders for your sense of worth and belonging.

6. Ahem, how are your unmentionables?

Mom’s often do the little boring shopping that keeps us stocked up on panties, underwear, socks, bras and pajamas, just to name a few. How are yours looking? If you have worn out elastic or holes, or have dingy colors on any of the above, love yourself enough to go replenish them.

You’re worth having clean and well-fitted unmentionables, and you will feel different when you’re wearing them. And if you have the cash, splurge and buy yourself something extra special, extra pretty or extra you. If you find yourself saying “But no one will even see it!” Please remind yourself that *you* will see it, and you count too!

7. Celebrate, daily.

Mom’s are so good at making us feel special and celebrating everything, from a birthday party extravaganza to putting the drawing we did in the place of honor on the fridge and “ooohhhing” and “ahhhhhing” over it.

If you’d like to nurture your own talents and dreams it’s essential you do the same for you. Make your accomplishments a big deal and celebrate them. Even better, find a friend who will go even bigger for you. Someone who will make an even bigger deal over that promotion, or that one pound you lost, or getting the taxes done, then even you will.

8. Get outside and play.

Your mother admonished you to get outside and play for a reason. Your life isn’t waiting for you in your room, on Netflix or on your phone. So don’t stay holed up and isolated in your house. Get outside. Go for a walk, socialize, make time to read, schedule in the things you love to do and get out there and do it.

Make a list of things you love to do and make it a point to cross one off every week as you do it. And if you happen to need a little inspiration? I happen to have a whole post on ways to play at any age. So take a peak at it here!

9. How are you eating?

Are you feeding yourself well, and do you have regular meal times? If not, please, get them. Eat delicious healthy food, along with the occasional guilty pleasure or comfort food, and make eating regularly a priority. Set your phone with reminders if you have to.

With so many of us working from home right now it’s way too easy to let meals slide and work through them while eating a poptart or day old Chinese. Don’t let that be you. Go grocery shopping this week and make sure you have food in your house.

10. Play the happy homemaker, for you.

Make your home yours, so that when you walk in it’s warm and inviting. Whether that means buying a houseplant, painting some walls, putting in cozy throws or even cooking up a pot of soup so that it smells delicious. Whatever it is, make a plan and do it.

Don't know where to start? Pick the spot that sucks the most and start small. First clear it out. Is it messy, cluttered or is the furniture ugly? What is it about it that you hate? Now, what are some small ways you can fix that? Do you hate staring at white wall in your home office? Paint them! Is your desk a chipped hand-me-down from the sixties you inherited from your Aunt Linda? Repaint or regift it.

11. Put yourself down for a nap.

Mom’s have a sixth sense for when their kids need rest in order to avert a meltdown. If your feeling cranky or overwhelmed or tired don’t try to push throw it, give yourself a nap, or even a little break as needed. You’ll be caring for yourself like a champ, but more than that you’ll often come back from it feeling clearer, and better than ever.

Most problems aren’t solved when we try to finesse them while cranky, in fact, we tend to make them worse. So do yourself a favor and give it a rest for a little while. You’ll be amazed at the answers that come to you when you’re willing to rest.


Which of the eleven way to mother yourself appeals to you the most? Pick one this week and do it! In fact, go put it on your schedule right now. Then next week try another. That’s how you make TLC and some good mothering a part of your routine.

Hey there Reader! I hope that helps you to find your own inner mother, and to give you the self-care and nurturing we all need! And with that, I'm off, but I will see you next week!

Much Love,

Desirée Sommer


Desirée Sommer is a former Interior Designer, and a current Writer/Speaker who helps people just like you Style, Beautify and make their lives Fun again!

She happily resides in the rural beauty of Idaho with her pet pooch Bree, where she gets to take epic hikes, and plot her next big adventure/road trip/travel destination.


Oh and before you go. I have a gift for you!

Get your absolutely FREE guide:

"55 Simple Pleasures to Wake up your Ordinary Days."

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