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5 Unexpected Self Care Tips for the Holidays (for Women Only)

The last thing you need, when you’re guzzling eggnog like there’s no tomorrow & downing an entire Pecan Pie just to get you by, is to be reminded to meditate or eat sensibly or drink more water, or take care of your skin... all in the guise of "self-care" during the Holidays. Let's be real. What you need are real world tips to help you keep your sanity.

Beautiful scene of a home at night as it snows
It’s the Holidays, and despite the adage of it being “the most wonderful time of the year,” it comes a real uptick in the workload of moms, wives and women everywhere.

Not to mention the pressures of trying to make it perfect for others, even when it means sacrificing our sanity, by cranking out the cookies & the presents & the decor all in an attempt to make memories for others.

Let's be real, the last thing you need, in the midst of the Holiday madness is to be reminded to meditate or eat sensibly or drink more water, or take care of your skin all in the guise of “self-care.” Most of that stuff goes out the window during this, the crunch time of the year.

What you need are real world tips to help you keep your sanity. With that in mind here are some real world, and unexpected self-care tips for to help you re-negotiate the Holiday so that it can start to be fun and festive for you, as it is for everyone else.

1. Delete items from the Holiday To-do List.

Before you go off on me with the ... “but there’s nothing I could possibly…,” just hold up. There is something on every woman’s Holiday To-Do list that she knows in her heart fills her with misery and resentment and worse, loathing.

A mentor of mine holds an annual “Ho, Ho, Ho, Hell No” Holiday challenge, gleefully asking for women to ditch the Holiday work overload. And she leads by example. This year she’s taking off for Thanksgiving to Maine. Alone. It’s a solo dream she’s had for awhile, and she has zero regrets about making time in her life for herself after decades of ring-leading the Thanksgiving circus.

That maybe a step too far for you, but if she can do that, you can certainly decide that this year you’re just going to say "no" to resentfully writing those Christmas cards, or that you can just as easily buy beautiful Holiday Cookies as stay up past midnight burning, I mean baking, yours. Whatever it is that you hate doing, this year give yourself permission to unload it.

2. Schedule in more Netflix and Chill time

In the midst of Holiday stress your brain, and you, need a break. Make sure you’re giving it to yourself through a slight bump in chill time.

Whether that’s indulging in some really good or really bad TV (Hello, calling all Real housewives fans), or obsessively playing Candy Crush on your phone or reading a trashy novel. Whatever it is for you, please *do* indulge in it, and without giving yourself a hard time.

Research shows that escapism in small doses can help us to de-stress, take our minds off our troubles and lift our spirits in the short term. Don’t make over-indulging a habit, but in the midst of short term stress, schedule some into your day, gladly.

3. Give yourself the gift of distance -- from difficult people.

Some people are easier to love from a distance, like long distance. The last thing you need in this, the most stressful time of year, is the added pressure of making nice with someone who makes you lose it on the regular. Because it’s all too easy, when stressed, to blow our cool and say things we regret (even if they are true) come morning or January 1st.

And yet many of us try to be nicer to the people we can't abide, in honor of the season. Instead, do the smart thing and steer clear of the relatives, coworkers and even friends who push your buttons. Be wily about not getting trapped into conversations with people you’ve had issues with in the past.

And if you’re tempted to feel guilty about dodging someone during the holidays, don’t. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is give people space. That’s ultimately being a better, nicer human, than knowingly walking into a fight that will ruin your holidays and theirs.

4. Employ the Navy Seal method: The Buddy System.

The “buddy system” works by assigning every Seal Team member a buddy to watch his back during missions. Why? Because Seal team members never work alone in dangerous situations, and neither should you.

Get a partner, or a girlfriend, or a sister to be a part of your buddy team so no matter how bad it gets, you know someone out there has your back. This is especially true if you will be entering the lion’s den, — a Holiday party with a difficult person who you cannot avoid. You know the ones, they take great pleasure in hunting you down, cornering you when you're in a crowd in order to get in a well placed potshot.

If you have one of these, get yourself someone who will be on your team no matter what. Someone you can give a knowing look to over the Holiday table when your Mother-in-law gives you a backhanded compliment over your "unique" way of cooking the Turkey.

Or a girlfriend you can text and play dysfunctional family bingo with over the course of the meal. Even just knowing someone is out there on your side, can make a huge difference in how you handle a potentially ugly encounter.

5. Aftercare: Plan the days after your Holiday just as carefully as you planned the event.

After you’ve recouped and cleaned up the mess, and put the house back in order, make a real plan for how you can restore your soul, and maybe even your faith in humanity, after the intense main event is finally over.

What can you do to put you back together now that the Holidays are over?

For some of us it’s going to be a night out (or maybe in) with our girlfriends, laughing and letting our hair down, saying all the outrageous things we had to keep to ourselves during the Holidays. For some of us, it might mean time spent outdoors finding our equilibrium again. If your finances aren’t too stretched, maybe a spa day solo would be just the ticket to getting back to you again.

Whatever it is, plan it ahead of time, and let the people in your life know it’s happening and it’s scheduled. Make spending some time outside of the grind, before you head back into work and a new year, a priority. A reset before you get back to real life can do wonders for how you feel, and stave off post-holiday depression.

I hope that helps to give you some real ways to make your Holidays better! You deserve to celebrate and have fun too. And the memories, you as a woman, are so good at creating, shouldn't come at the cost of your emotional well-being. That's not good or anyone long term.

If you happen to need someone to hold your hand, and help you work through the Holidays, I’m here to help!

A life coach can be a great cheerleader, accountability partner and can help you celebrate all those wins. Not to mention work through all those pesky fear-inducing thoughts.

If you’re interested in working with me you can contact me at: or use messenger here on Facebook or Instagram! I love helping people just like you!

And with that, I’m off! I will see you all next week in the meantime here are some other articles you might enjoy:

As always, make sure to hit that like button, and sign up for blog so you never miss another post about being happy, and pursuing your dreams!



Brenda Hinckley
Brenda Hinckley
Nov 28, 2021

I love the buddy rule!!!

Desirée Sommer
Desirée Sommer
Dec 04, 2021
Replying to

It's a lifesaver! ;)

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