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You aren't Unmotivated or Depressed, You have this sneaky voice in your head sabotaging you.

Been feeling a little down or cranky? Can't put your finger on your crappy mood and feelings? Not accomplishing like you usually do? Are you sure it's you? Or is it this sneaky thing in your head... Read on to find out more!

photo of a pensive woman looking out a window

Lately I've been doing a lot of mini morning coaching sessions with myself...


And I've started to get really good at noticing how often what's bothering me - whether it's feeling sad, or restless, or a little depressed and unmotivated - is actually, just a bunch of really abusive, negative thoughts.


Which is not at all uncommon.


A lot of high functioning, emotionally healthy adults have a running narrative of thoughts that are pretty trashy & heinous.


"You're fat! You're ugly. Why did you do that?"


"Ugh. Once again too lazy to... I can't believe you just said that!!!"


"What an idiot. What is wrong with you?! Why can't you just ..."



And those thoughts just sort of hum along in the background of our lives, without us even trying to having them... Sometimes not even really noticing that we have them.



Now here comes the interesting part I've been noticing:


We often think these thoughts are simply true. At least, on some level.



We think to ourselves, "Hey, you know, I am overweight. I have been too tired to work out. I did make a mistake on that project..." e


So we just let these thoughts in the door without checking them. Because, they're true and truth is good for us right? In some way you have to reckon with reality if you're ever going to get better or "fix" the things that are not ideal.


Right?


Ok, but go back to the original thought. Because the original thought wasn't:

"I've gained some weight." or "I haven't been exercising for the last 2 months."


No, no, no...


The original thought is always something way more harsh:


"I'm fat. It's gross! Ugh, my belly flops around when I run up the stairs now. " or "I'm sick and tired of being a lazy jerk! Ugh! What's wrong with me that I can't control myself? How could I have made such a stupid mistake! That wasn't very smart was it?"


I want you to hear me when I say this:


That is not truth.


That is an opinion on the truth, that is abusive, ranting, harsh

and aimed to hurt you.


Those are thoughts designed to push you back into the shadows and stop you from growing or taking risks and chances.


Those are thoughts designed to keep you small, and stuck, and "safely" right where you're at.

If you walk around, not speaking back to that voice to it? Or worse, If you invite it in to stay because you see it as the "truth" and can use it to "help" yourself?


 Or because it's just reality, so you have to "accept" it.


Oof. You are in trouble.


No wonder you feel crappy on most days.
No wonder you don't feel motivated. No wonder you are depressed and listless and can't get any traction on what you want!


All of your energy is being carefully smothered out bit by bit by these kinds of voices in your own head.


Voices, that if you gave it a little thought, you could probably identify as the voices and criticisms you've overheard other people in your life saying. Probably when you were a kid, and maybe couldn't fight back, or talk back to them. Or speak up for another person getting bullied


And when you don't get to speak back, or fight back, the voices get in. We actually start to adopt the bully and make him a part of how we talk to ourselves.


Your energy, your vitality, and your momentum is very much locked up in those voices.

You gotta start fighting back and get in touch with how angry those words can make you, to get the energy back.


How do you do that?


Get back in touch with the body and how those words make your body feel! I guarantee if you do that, you will start to notice yourself flinching and defensively getting (rightfully) angry.


When you let yourself get angry, -- in your body angry, -- you'll find the words to talk back to it:


"Hey, nobody talks to me like that! Screw you! "


"And who the hell are you, to speak to me like that, anyway?!"


You start saying that to the bullying, abusive voice in your head, and baby, you're gonna start to feel better and get your energy back!


So next time you feel a little low, or sad, or depressed and restless... listless. Try writing down what you've been saying to yourself recently, and make sure you note the exact harsh tone with which you've been saying it. See if you aren't depleting your energy with a bunch of inner trash talk.


And if this is describing you to a T and you'd like a little help with that, come talk to me! I'd be happy to walk you through some simple steps to help you get your energy up again!

Much love,

Desiree

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