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The Gift in that Bad Habit… And why you aren’t able to stop doing it.

A lot of people struggle to stop bad habits even as they realize how destructive they are, from smoking to procrastinating to having a truly awful negative inner critic. Why is that? And what are we missing about the gift of the bad habit? Read on to find out more!

You know the interesting thing about every little problematic thing we do from procrastinating to having incredibly negative inner thoughts about ourselves —

It actually has a little bit of something really useful in it if we’re just able to listen to it through different ears.

There is some way that this procrastinating is serving you, something that it’s giving to you that is helping to solve a problem you don't even see in your life...

And there is some way that this truly ugly negative inner voice - it’s helping us to develop something within ourselves to defeat it in the end.

And if we can discover that, what the medicine of the habit it? Then we can help you to get some of that same medicine in a different, more healthy form.

Maybe writing that memoir is too hot for you sometimes.

You apply way to much internal pressure to the writing process and scrolling through social media helps you to chill out for a moment so you can get back to writing again when the pressure is off.

Maybe work is short staffed and stressful, and a little time spent perusing TikTok lets off some steam so you don’t lose your cool at the wrong person — like a client or boss.

Maybe that negative self-talk is teaching you how to stand up to the real bully in your life, the one you adopted in your head from a childhood teacher or care-giver.

There is something in those habits that speaks to some unheard part of ourselves. There's almost always a gift hiding in that terrible thing you do....

Don’t get me wrong though. Do I want you to keep doing those bad habits?

Do I want you to keep procrastinating on that book or scrolling social media and hoping the boss doesn’t catch you?


Do I want you to keep having negative self-talk so you can “learn” to stand up for yourself?

Also, no.

I absolutely want you to be able to stop both those things. Those habits are no way to live the life you want.

But we don’t get there by being hard on ourselves, yelling at ourselves to stop, calling ourselves names and feeling like there is something wrong with us.

If we did, no one would have those issues.

We get there by getting curious and fascinated

by what’s really going on.

We start to understand that we are always doing that negative thing for a reason. Our systems and our natures are intelligently designed. Not always helpful. But intelligent.

And it’s not until we figure out what we’re doing and why, that we can even begin to change it, and soften our own attitudes about it.

The best way I know how to do this? Get a new set of eyes on it with a coach.

And it doesn’t have to be me! There’s a coach for everyone and I’m not for everyone. But regardless you deserve to feel good and solve for the real issue going on.

And stop being so hard on yourself for being human.

Much love!



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