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How Successful Women get Lucky in Life & Adventure.

After working on my dream 7 days a week for 2 years. I finally took a day off. Why? Read this post to find out.

A woman holding playing cards

They say success leaves clues. But a lot time when you’re looking up to someone who’s gone before you it just looks like they’ve always had that certain something we covet, whether it’s talent, looks, style, panache, or powerful messaging.

Lately, this has been happening to me. I’m starting a new business, a new website, a new podcast and it’s hard. I knew it would be. But it’s even harder than I had envisioned when I first decided to do this. So I’ve been going back to the woman who inspired me.

But for the life of me, as far back as I can find, on her current website, that “it” factor, that powerful messaging and glossy panache, has just always been there from the very first podcast, the very first post.

I was starting to think, “Was she just lucky? Was she just born with it? And was I not?” And it felt like my only options were to admit I'd always be behind her, or quit.

Sure, there were improvements along the way, but nowhere was the ugly phase. The one so many of us have to go through in our businesses and dreams. *I* was starting to think, “Was she just lucky? Was she just born with it? And was I not?”

It felt like my only options were to accept that I’d always be behind her, no matter how much effort I put in because she would always have something I don’t: Talent. Or I’d have to quit, tuck my tail between my legs and hope I’d find something I was lucky at (and pray I also enjoyed doing it).

What to do? Well, I don’t quit Ladies and Gents. No, Sir. Not without a fight. So, I did what any amateur internet sleuth would do… I fired up my computer and I dug deeper. Success may leave clues, but so do internet businesses. And it’s relatively easy to find someone’s very first blog post, website, or first product launch.

And I found gold. I found her very first blog, the one from 2008. That’s 6 more years beyond what I had initially seen on her website. My heroine had been at this for 12 years. Not 6. And I saw that her message was the same as now. Only the delivery wasn’t what it was now. She had indeed gone through her own growing stage.

And I saw the false starts. The food blog that went nowhere. The products page that didn’t work and was quickly deleted. I saw posts with no views, and top posts with only 15 views. I saw the first “free” opt-in she tried, and well it worked for her. How do I know it worked? Because she repeated it over and over on each new website.

It was in fact a sobering amount of work, of building and course correcting little by little, brick by brick over years. Trying something, seeing if it would work, if not, ditching it, and trying something new over and over again.

Success, it seems is measured over YEARS and decades, not weeks and months. And it turns out if you put in consistent effort and diligent course correcting you too can get really lucky.

Rule #1 of Lucky Ladies: Give your dream the time it needs. Success comes in 2 to 3 year growth spurts. But Mastery and Luck — where your skill level looks effortless, often takes 10 years of practice.

Now that was reassuring, but I found something else when I went digging. Something that set my role model ahead of me even as a beginner. She was all in on her dream, and it showed in her actions. She hired a web designer before she was even out of her training program. Then there were the mentors, retreats and masterminds she invested in.

Me? I had done the opposite. I decided to do the website myself, afraid to spring for the $300 expense. Not because I didn’t have the money, but because I was hedging my bets. Before I sunk more cost into this thing I wanted to see if it would work. I wanted a little external validation, then I would go all in.

Can you see the problem here already? Would you treat a child, a pet or even your house plant this way? Would you give it half the nutrients, sunlight and time it needed, not because you don’t have it, but because you’re not sure it’ll work out?

Your dream is a living thing. It’s needs all the nutrients it can get to thrive. Giving it only half of what it needs, hedging our bets, will make it sickly, just as surely as it will a child, pet, or a favorite plant. It’s hard to get something going when it’s only at half power.

Not her. She bet on herself, and went all in. And over time it paid off. There were posts about doubling her business in a year. And podcasts later discussing how she had turned her business in to 6 figures in just two years, even in a recession. You see, you have to be willing to bet on yourself in order to get lucky.

Rule No #2 of Lucky Ladies: Go all in on your dream. Give it what it needs to fully thrive. No more hedging your bets or half-assing your dream.

Then there was that one last lesson staring me in the face on her blog and websites and business social media feeds. Glaringly obvious. The one that left me feeling like I had egg on my face.

She had an amazing life. She traveled. She went on wine tastings. Ate gorgeous meals. She met up with friends in Aspen. She hosted retreats at the Ritz Carlton. She learned things just for the sheer pleasure of it. She read good books. She flirted with sexy foreigners.

If she wasn’t so damn likable I might have started hating her for it, staring at all week as I was. She was living the life, while pursuing her dream.

Meanwhile, I was grinding every damn day. That was my ace in the hole: My willingness to work 7 days a week and forgo all the pleasures of life. It was how I was planning to get lucky.

Play? Fun? That comes later. Try doing that stuff now and you’ll never make it to your dream. Or so I thought (and quite frankly had been told). But it sure didn’t look like living with joie de vivre was hurting her bottom line.

In fact, she was prolific, she had more programs online then many of the other women in her field. Her blog posts and podcasts came out with stunning consistency. She had thriving social media accounts and a Facebook community that was unrivaled. Not only that, but her programs had that little something something others didn’t, as she was able to incorporate her joy and playfulness into them.

And it worked . She was incredibly magnetic. People could see she was having the time of her life and they wanted to be a part of it. In fact, they wanted to figure out how to cultivate it for themselves. Apparently, joie de vivre makes a pretty good business plan, and living with joy can make you very very lucky.

It makes sense. When I had put pressure on myself to put my life on hold, it was with the idea that it was for a year. A stiff price to pay, but now? Knowing this could really take up to 10 years? Unthinkable.

Rule #3 of Lucky Ladies: Stop putting your life on hold. Your life and your dream feed each other. Starve one and you will starve the other.

And with that, I decided to stop digging. I wanted a life of joie de vivre, and I could see that by not giving my dream the time it really needed, not going all in and giving it the resources it needed, and putting my life on hold I was making sure I would NEVER get lucky. In fact, it was a recipe for quitting way too soon.

So, I’m going to do something kind of glorious and factor joie de vivre into my business, I’m going to bet on myself, and I’m going to show up for the long haul. It’s just how I get lucky, now, too. And I hope you consider doing the same. And with that. It’s time to sign off. There’s a great glass of wine, and bubble bath with my name on them. ;)



Mar 29, 2021

Desiree, this is wonderful! And you are so right about our mentor! I love this and am glad to be watching you launch this adventure!

Desirée Sommer
Desirée Sommer
Mar 29, 2021
Replying to

Jean, thank you so much for finding me, and reading the latest post! It means so much to me!

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