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When to change your mind (to get what you really want) & Why

What does a misbehaving dog, a realization about self-image & dog training have to do with getting the life you want? Ever gotten the same bad results in your life over and over again? Despite how hard you've been working at it? It might just need a simple switch in perception. Read on to find out how...

Woman with dazzling sunglasses smiling with the words "Why your worldview is everything"


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"Perception precedes reality."

- Andy Warhol


Let me ask you a question:

How do you see the world?

Is life and all of the people in it conspiring for your greater good?

Or is life a bitch, and then you die?

And yes, I’m asking you for a reason.


Ever notice how your friends who are complainers always manage to find something to complain about?

Or how about that coworker that is forever lamenting that all of the good men are taken? Doesn’t it seem like she has an endless supply of dates with men who are losers? Even when you and your friends are able to find dates with good men...

And on the other side of the equation...

Someone who genuinely believes her life is lucky never seems to run dry on blessings, even when she hits a bump in the road.

Why is that?

How is it that our perception of something tends to impact what's available to us?


This notion of our perception determining what is or what is not available to us came for me pretty hard last month.

Bree snuggled up in bed
My little bed bug, Bree!

I put my darling dog, Bree in training. Bree is my 1 year old “baby.” She is mostly the sweetest, most cuddliest dog you’ve ever met.

Until you try to walk her.

Then she is the sassiest, most defiant, most "you're-not-the-boss-of-me" dog you’ve ever met.

Me pulling her this way, and her yanking me in whatever direction she deems fit. Forwards. Backwards. Sideways. Sometimes refusing to walk another inch. And then there is the barking. She barks at everything and anything on the trail.

Something had to be done. So into training we went.

Knowing my experience walking Bree, you can only imagine my jaw dropping, stunned look when the trainer described Bree as the goofiest, silliest, most playful dog she had ever taken on a walk.


Photo of my dog Bree
My dog?! Goofy? Playful? Silly….? Had we walked the same dog?

I left that first training wondering what had happened.

Was Bree a completely different dog with Tara the trainer? Was Tara just a better leader? Was I that bad?

Was my dog bipolar? Could dogs even be bipolar?


Our widely varying experiences really had me wondering & blaming myself, until we all took a walk together at the local park:

Me, Tara the trainer, and Bree, dog of mystery.

Where proceeded to do the exact same things with Tara that she did with me: lie down in protest, lunge and bark, and try to pull Tara along.

Suddenly, it was very clear:

Bree was the exact same dog with both of us.

Tara and I just had very different perceptions of what was going on.

Tara saw Bree as just being “silly.” She didn’t see Bree as defiant, but as a dog who didn’t yet know the rules & was trying to play.

(video: Bree and her trainer Tara, working on "stay.")


The wild thing about our perceptions as that we are rarely cognizant of them.

Or even aware that we have these filters, until they hit us square in the face.

Like me and Bree.

We think we see the world as it is, instead of recognizing that we all see the world through a lens of our own thinking and beliefs.

We don’t see people, places, life or even our pets as they actually are. Instead, we see our opinions, judgments, and beliefs about them.

We see them through our perception of “how the world is”

and that flavors all of our experiences.

For better or for worse.

And much of the time our opinions, beliefs and judgements about other people, are really about what we secretly think about ourselves.


Bree tangled up in her leash on a walk
Bree all tangled up in her leash on a walk.

Take Tara and Me. Tara had a strong sense of her own ability to lead. No doubts. So Bree acting out never rocked her confidence.

But me? I had serious, and secret doubts about my ability to lead.

I was thinking things like “Who was I to lead anyone? What if I lead us all astray or get it wrong?”

And that’s often what’s at the root of most of our wonky worldviews and perceptions: Doubt & a deep fear that maybe we can't get what we want.

That maybe we aren't worthy of it or don't deserve it.

It's a very human thing to think.


So again, let me ask you a question:

How do you see the world?

And is it helping or hurting you?

And especially in those places where you feel like you've been on repeat for awhile,

kind of like that coworker only going on bad dates, or that friend who can only ever complain about her life.

If you've got a spot in your life that never seems to get better, that seems stuck on repeat in the worst way...?

You probably need to investigate you're thinking around it & around what you believe you are worthy of.


As for me and Bree, how are our walks going?

They keep getting better and better.

Not because she’s changed, but because I have and that's made all the difference.


So if you feel stuck, or you feel like there is a part of your life that is on repeat, getting the same terrible results over and over again, look to your perception of it (& of yourself and your worth).

The work is in changing that first. The rest will follow.

I hope that helps and I will see you next week!

Sending you lots of love, and a brand new vision on your life!

Desirée Sommer


Desirée Sommer is a former Interior Designer, and a current Writer/Speaker who helps people just like you

Style, Beautify and make their lives Fun again!

She happily resides in the rural beauty of Idaho with her pet pooch Bree, where she gets to take epic hikes, and plot her next big adventure/road trip/travel destination.


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