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The Art of feeling Sexy (at any age, at any weight)

Ah, sexy… What a tantalizing & dangerous word for so many of us. How many of us feel left out of that word, entirely? Like we don't get to play there at all because of our age, our weight, our bodies, our disabilities & more.

Woman in a dress with sexy heels, and the words "The Art of Feeling Sexy -- at any age, any weight."


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Happy Friday, Beautiful!

"Being yourself is very sexy, you know?"

— Erin Heatherton

Ah, sexy… What a tantalizing & dangerous word for so many of us.

How many of us feel left out of that word, entirely? Like we don't get to play there at all because of our age, our weight, our bodies, our disabilities & more.

We often think sexy is something that other people get to define for us. And that's problematic. And we get stuck thinking sexy is something that we do (and wear) for others. And that's not always so fun either.

So how about we change that? How about we "bring sexy back," into something that feels fun, and inviting and playful again!

You? Sexy?!

Absolutely. Even if you've never felt that way before.

  • Sexy is Michelle Pfieffer starting a brand perfume line in her sixties (doesn't she look beautiful in her element?)

  • Sexy is Helen Mirren refusing to cover up at her age!

  • Sexy is Ashley Graham being unabashed about her appeal at her size.

Sexy is something we can do for ourselves (and no one else if don’t want to).

Often, it’s not even something we do...

It’s a feeling of joy inside of ourselves that

happens when we feel good and desirable in our own skin.

To feel sexy is to see our own beauty, mystery and allure, and to feel like we’re able to play in the game of love, fun and flirtation (as much or as little as we want to).

And every time we show up as sexy in ways that delight us,

even when we been told we’re:

too old... too big... too dateless...

too masculine...

too disabled ...

Or whatever else society has termed un-sexy this season…

We open the door wider to others.

We make room for more women, just like us, to have permission to feel as sexy as they wanna.

And that is just what this week’s inspiration and way to play is all about!

Lots of love & sexiness to you all,

Desiree Sommer


1 Inspiration


Now pull out your journal & ask yourself: People who walk around the world and see joy in everything and everyone — tend to be joyful, yeah? People who see the likable in others tend to be pretty likable, yes? So what happens if we see the sexy, — the appeal and vitality of others? We tend to be in touch with our own sense of appeal and vitality — our own sense of sexy. "Do you regularly (even innocently) manage to see the appeal and charm (and yes, sexy) in others?"


"How can you make it a point to notice more?

And, what’s sexy in you?"


2 Quote


“Every woman is sexy in her own way.”

— Kendra Wilkinson


3 Weekly Way to Play


Seduce yourself!

To get yourself in the mood to *feel* sexy, why not seduce yourself? Ask yourself: What places or things do you find naturally sexy? What tends to make you feel good in your skin?

No answers are too off the wall here, this is your date, so you get to play by your rules. And it doesn’t have to be scandalous or sexual. Think instead about how sexy someone is when they’re in their element, and then go put yourself in yours.

Now take all your attention off of you. That’s right! Look around and find what’s sexy about everything (and everyone) around you. No one has to know...

Spend your date looking for the appeal and sexiness of everyone and everything in the “room” with you.

And at the end of it, ask yourself: Didn’t you feel sexier seeing the joy and appeal of everyone else?


Are you loving this blog post? Do you need more sexy, fun ways to bring joy to your life?

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Desirée Sommer is an Interior Designer & Writer dedicated to helping those around her to

Beautify, Style & make their lives Fun again!

She happily resides in the rural beauty of Idaho with her pet pooch Bree, where she gets to take epic hikes, and plot her next big travel escapade.



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